Standing up Straight

I was on the train when something that occationally bothers me popped into my head. Many years ago a girl in my form group asked, in quite a snide way "why do you stand up straight, is it cause you think your better than us?" to which I replied something generic, proberbly "no, der". As time progressed, This moment has kept coming back to me and causes me to ponder, why did I then, stand up straight? What would I say to her now?

I have a few reasons that imdiately pop into my head, first of all was pride, not in a stuck up way though, in an honest innocent way. I was proud of being a high school student and a independent, confidant girl on the verge of becoming a young woman. I moved from a primary school that was opprestive to anyone different, and compared to many of the people there I could have been an alien.

Not to abuse the many brilliant students who went there and still do and the amazing teachers who changed my life and truely educated me, but many of the students came from low education "wild" backrounds and were not givien in my opinion, the discipline that they were begging for. I was shunned. For my own protection I had to try my best to cut a domineering brave figure for those who though I was weak and easy pray. And standing up tall is a sign of refunsifng to be oppressed. I trained martial arts for 4 years, and we were taught quite firmly that good posture is the basis of respect and good teqnuique, this is where I think most of my desire to stand up straight came from.

but the sad thing, is that, I don't sit or stand tall any more unless I feel threatened or asked to. because even though I can justify it and i belive strongly in each of those points. when I stand up tall or sit up tall, I feel stuck up and that I stick out. I don't train martial arts anymore so it is no longer such an expectation. In fact I think my posture is worse than many of my peers. I slouch and cross my legs most of the time. Maybe when I am out of school I will try a bit more actively to shed this comment. It really is proof that a little comment you make can effect someone for years if not their whole lives.